|The main character to my original story, Vagabonds|
She was right.
I spoke for us both when I confirmed it within myself. I'm not as composed in areas of intimacy as some would be led to believe. But that is something that I don't need to feel compelled to change. I should not fear the boldness of others, but admire the beauty in their love, and find the courage to change my perspective and, with someone by my side, to find that same passion in our own way, in our own time, and with all the unique beauty that can only belong to two individuals combined. One thing I've come to understand about myself and about the world around me [in this time of my life where one searches their soul to find the meanings that would satisfy the questions of youth] is that we are all individuals asking the same questions; A mix of voices that shout out in a crowd of differing tongues and dialects, wondering the same things about what we cannot know about those around us. Am I just like everyone else? Should I be? The answer, I have found, is in the question. From different angles and varying directions we are all headed to the same point. One's person's fear is reflected perfectly in the mirror or another’s, and though the source of that fear may differ, the emotion behind it is the same. As it is with all things.
For a time I worry that because I don't know much about physical love that it will then be harder for me to find the emotion behind it. That it may hinder my chance for romance, by not being as experienced, or bold, or willing as those who do not fret as I do. But then I think. Just because my path is a cautious one where others may blaze new trails, doesn't mean that I won't, like we all, find that happy blissful destination at the end. It absolutely doesn’t. I find that I wish to be sweet and composed in a world that today seems to be swept away in the sexual gail of lust, love and laughter that calls young people like the wave to the shore. But I think now that I'm just standing on a different shore. Perhaps even seeing things through my own foolish misconceptions. Love is not one big ocean with intimidating shores. I’d say instead that love is a series of rivers, each taking their own paths to the sea. Though we may perceive another’s path from where we stand, and even when it seems that there are a multitude of streams all rushing in the same way, we must remember that each still bends to its own subtle composition, and though they spring from different settings, all are making their way, cautious or fearlessly, to the same distant sea.
Today uncertainty is what inspires me, as I write these thoughts into conception. But the ideas that I’m exploring, and I hope you’d agree, appeal to the broader picture. For as human beings we are all, to quote Louisa May Alcott, hopelessly flawed and as such we will always try to fix the impossible flaws and beautiful imperfection that make us who we are. Such pursuits cause us to question why, and how come, from which comparisons and uncertainties are born. It is good to ask and doubt and wonder, so long as we use that uncertainty to bring forth the continued intrigue that should follow. For only by asking such questions can we explore ourselves and better understand the complexities of our emotions, thoughts, beliefs, and identities. Whether we wonder about our sexuality, our confidence or cowardice, our beauty or intelligence or strength or sense of purpose in comparison to others, it is a comfort to know that the same questions are present in the minds of those around us. We are unified in what we do not know, and in what we wish to understand or accomplish. And I believe, that the answer to these, oh great and unknowable questions of life, will only be found when we ask them together as one.
Art is my obsession! I try to express my creativity any way that I can, whether that's in my digital media, writing, fanfiction, music or anything other media of expression I'm yet to try. I love art but i also love music, laughing, singing (poorly) , dancing, and eating. (as you may learn from my gallery, villians are my favorite )|
I pour my imagination into my drawings (as best I can anyway) but what is on my paper is only a small percent of what is in my mind. Still, I always try to improve, to someday share all the magic that I otherwise see in every moment.
So I hope you enjoy what I have to offer. And may the rest of your day be an awesome one!